From a faint hearted Epicurean

Today I woke up and decided I wanted to make lunch. Told Ma as much on the breakfast table and she wasn’t amused. Why can’t I cook? I could sense ma’s trepidation as a vision of me meddling around in her kitchen flitted across her eyes, so she put on her ‘on the verge of a nervous break down’ act again and told me that I should do it another day as today she wasn’t up for it. Well, I’d be doing the cooking, not she! Anyway, even after I said ,that, I am not at all ‘groomed’ and what would my future in-laws say, how would I bear the insults? My pleas (all done in a melodramatic and highly amusing fashion) fell on deaf ears, so I decided to get pleasure out of writing about food.

Hmm…I love all kinds of food, and seriously there isn’t much that I wont eat, except ofcourse tohri, tinda, parval and lauki...I am allergic…just like I am lactose intolerant.
My absolute favourite is street food, maybe because I cant afford the gourmet delights of the higher end restaurants on my meager pocket money, but then also, street food has a charm all of its own.

The thela- wallahs around Sarita Vihar have some really interesting fare to offer- from tikki burgers to Lebanese wraps. But away from the main market there is this innocuous old man selling boiled corn. He takes some corn and mixes in it this chutney, which is deep rust in colour, made out of red chillies and tamarind. The hot chutney with the mildly sweet corn is amazing, and enough to make your ears smoke, and one plate/pattal is for five rupees!! So much better than the corn you get everywhere else these days.

Now that we are on the corny topic- I also love roasted bhutta with lots of nimbu and masala.(sorry for using all the local terminology but the flavour of the food is lost without it!!). This bhutta is perfect when it’s drizzling, the air is a little nippy, and people are running with umbrellas. Then stop and have freshly roasted bhutta. It has the warm smell of coal and there is nothing like the crackle to beat the cold. Drenched, biting into the nimbu smeared bhutta, while the smell of freshly wet earth fills ur nostrils- umm…divine!!

Another one of my weaknesses is Aloo Chaat. Again from the roadside vendors, crisp, steaming and deep-fried, with masala and very little chutney. Of course then there are the tikki burgers which are ok once in a while, though look extremely suspect, but what’s so wrong with a bit of dirt anyway, if the food is good.

Now I am a die hard Carnivore, so this whole bird flu thingy is something that’s giving me nightmares. So I propounded a reasoning- look, a) No human cases of the flu have been reported in India. b) Very effective government control of the situation. c) It can affect our economy n the poor poultry farm owners very negatively, so we should consume more meat to help them. d) Indian cooking methods kill the flu- so boil n pressurize the chicken, who’s asking you to have it raw? And e) I’ll shrivel up and die if I don’t get some meat soon enough.
Would someone please explain all of this to my mum?

She finds my state extremely amusing and yesterday she said -“whats wrong in being a vegetarian for a little while?”. I’ll tell you whats wrong in being a vegetarian(ghaaseatarian)-as someone I greatly admire, Anthony Bourdain, says- “vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food.” And that’s one of his more polite remarks.

Now I will dwell into the Tamsic pleasures of MEAT-

Isn’t this post already long enough? - hmm (to be continued…)